What Are Women Made Of?

As I child, I remember reciting,

What Are Little Girls Made of? 

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice. 

 Somehow, that never seemed right. The girls and women I knew were made of stronger stuff. Wanting to better define this, I began interviewing women as a graduate student and never stopped. I’ve interviewed over a hundred women over the past decades, almost all of them over forty, in search of a better definition. Now, I’d say we’re made of grit, perseverance, curiosity, connection, and creativity, underscored by love and a sense of humor. Here are a few examples of women who truly showed themselves to be feisty, gutsy broads past forty:

A Woman Made Of…

Gabrielle’s story shows grit, perseverance, creativity and connection. Her parents were political activists in South Africa. The family came to the United States when bombs were sent to their home. Having always worn uniforms to school, neither Gabrielle nor her mother knew how New York students dressed, so Gab’s mother felt that Gab’s best dress, lace tights and patent leather shoes would show respect. When she got to school and saw her Vietnam war era peers in torn jeans, tee shirts and shoeless, she called her mother to take her and her brother and sister home. She didn’t feel comfortable in what the other girls were wearing and started making her own clothes.

This knowledge that women need to feel at home in their wardrobe led to her career dressing women in clothes that make them feel alive, comfortable and beautiful. Although she instinctively understood fabric, drape and color, she didn’t know how to pattern, cut or sew. She found patternmakers, a cutter and sewers, most of whom are still with her today.

Gabrielle worked in a number of settings, including Bergdorf and Barney’s, before creating the Gabrielle Carlson Studio. Rising rents caused her to close the shop, still maintaining a stream of private clients, an online presence, and frequent trunk shows at the Guerlain Spa at the Waldorf.

Gabrielle says “It’s wonderful to be in a position where you can be part of someone finding themselves attractive, enjoying how they look, and, more than anything, feeling like it’s far from over. They are enjoying themselves.”

Many of her clients have been with her for decades and her trunk shows are like family reunions.

Minx, coach, author and poet, now in her seventies, is another example of perseverance mixed with generous amounts of curiosity and creativity. She describes her career this way: “I’ve spent a lifetime researching what it means to be healthy and health-wise. If I’m looking, the answers show up. Then I reach out and ask—How can I use this?  What do I need to know? What can I do with this?”

When her son was diagnosed with severe asthma, she wanted to find drug-free solutions, so she turned her culinary knowledge into research-driven healing. She enrolled in a specialized health-oriented nutrition program and cooked her way through their 30-day meal plan. In thirty days her son was off the meds. She prepared, froze and shipped 180 meals so that he could safely attend summer camp.

This led to teaching and writing. When she moved to Florida at midlife and started creating transformational programs for women leaders, she discovered that what she was doing was coaching and became a certified coach. She’s taught courses, had written more that sixteen books and workbooks at the time of my interview with her, and writes a poem every day. When she was diagnosed with breast cancer.

Woman Made Of..

Jeannette, now well past ninety, demonstrates perseverance and connection. She began her career at a time where the want ads were divided by gender and few women rose to high level positions. She still built a long and successful career in marketing and corporate communications, including serving as senior vice president for corporate communications at Marsh and McLennan and senior vice president of the Bowery Savings Bank.

When she retired in her seventies, she planned to continue enjoying theater, ballet and bridge. She found, though, that the path to becoming a Grand Master was expensive. I suggested she take a blogging course, and within a year she had so many clients as a social media consultant that she had very little time for bridge.

When Jeannette, in her eighties, finally retired to Sarasota, she used all her skills in making and keeping connections to create her new life. She had some friends from New York as a base. She made friends at the Newcomers Club and became involved in arts activities. Volunteering became a big part of her new life. She served two years as president of the Arts Advocates, supports the Sarasota Cuban Ballet School, and has volunteered at the Sarasota Film Festival. She reserved time for bridge, though, and finally became a Grand Master.

There are more than 100 other stories in my files, including those in my dissertation, blog posts, and interviews not included in either book. I’ll end with a great example of grit. Joan was my first interview. She was in her forties and was studying to become a teacher’s aide when I met her. In my career development course, she wrote a life history and did a skills analysis that helped her determine career possibilities.

She had talked about feeling closed in and limited by a husband who wanted her to stay at home. He called her “mummy” and she felt like that described her—all wrapped up and unable to move. One of her career possibilities was politician. She decided to break free of her wrappings and ran for and won a seat on the community council. She never did become a teacher’s aide. She went on to serve in the state assembly.

What Are Women Made Of?

My lifelong passion to understand what women past forty are really made of has given me a career as a coach and an author that came fully into existence when I walked out of a job I hated at fifty. My new book, Champagne Ladies—Effervescent at Any Age launched on March 30. The Champagne Ladies exemplify what it means to be a gutsy broad. The “baby” in the book is approaching 70. Several are over 90. It’s well past time that the world realizes that there’s no age limit on being gutsy and brave and innovative. The “silvers” (even if they now have red or black or purple locks) are a force to be reckoned with!