Zero to Fifty

When I’m being interviewed, I often get the question, “When did you know you wanted to be a writer?” The answer is, it’s complicated.

Not that I haven’t written off and on my whole life, I wrote a play in third grade, a reader’s theater in seventh, and there is a book and a screenplay in a drawer somewhere that will never see the light of day. But I never wanted to be a writer. I wanted to be an actress!

By the time I was five, I was charging my neighborhood friends a nickel to see plays I made up. I did theater in high school and have a whole degree in it from college. When my kids were little, we did community theater together, but eventually they lost interest. By then I was working as a school counselor and did not have time for the long hours of rehearsal.

Then three things happened when I turned fifty. First, I was in a training program to become a spiritual director, someone who accompanies people on their spiritual journey. During that training, we learned a couple of practices that changed the trajectory of my life. One is the Enneagram, a system for understanding personality that is quite complex. But the thing that stood out for me that day was that the Enneagram explained that when relaxed, I am a romantic and creative person.

It dawned on me that since leaving theater, I’d made no room in my life for creativity and sorely missed it.

The second life-changing spiritual practice was called body focusing. It’s where you do a scan of your body, see which part draws your attention, and ask what it needs. That day, I was having trouble breathing from an undiagnosed lung infection. My mind immediately went to my lungs as I scanned my body. When I asked them what they needed, I heard, “Space.” I knew then that I needed to get to a doctor for some medicine, but the words also echoed a deeper need. My life had become too busy, too cluttered. I needed to make space for myself, God, and others.

Since the kids had moved out, we had two vacant bedrooms. I decided to make a room just for me. I painted the walls with warm, vibrant colors, and found interesting and comfortable furniture at thrift stores and yard sales. I even bought four empty frames and hung them in a square above my desk. Empty, to represent the space I was making.

I now had the desire to create, and the space to do so, but what could I do that didn’t take twenty hours a week? That’s how I decided to write, and my first novel was born as I turned fifty.

But the third thing I had that allowed me to move from a writer to a published author was the maturity to do the hard work of editing. Until then, I’d written, but never got through the rewriting and editing process to a finished product. I could not have done that before. I didn’t have the patience.

My first book was young adult fiction, and for my fiftieth birthday, my daughter bought me a membership to a local writer’s group. I walked in with fear and trembling. A man sat next to me and asked, “What do you write?”

I said, “I wrote a Young Adult novel and am here to find a publisher.”

He asked, “Who has read your book besides your family and friends?”

I gulped, “No one.” My husband and daughter had said it was good, perfect in fact. But I’d been too shy to share it beyond that small group.

He then invited me to what was called a “finished” group for people with complete manuscripts. We read one each month and then gave feedback on plot holes, confusing parts, and the overall story. Because I was new, I had to wait for months to get to my book, but when the time came, the feedback was consistent.

1. Your story has no conflict, therefore it is boring.
2. You keep switching perspectives; you are head-hopping. It’s confusing.

I went home devastated and relayed this to my husband, who glibly said, “Yeah, I noticed that.”

I put the manuscript in a drawer for about a month, then took it out to look at it more objectively. They were right. This led to fifteen rewrites of my first book. Despite attaining a master’s degree, I hadn’t had an English class since high school. I had to learn about writing from scratch. But I was able to pull that manuscript out of the drawer and do the hard work, which would not have happened if I had not learned to develop a thick skin. Apparently I needed fifty years to do so.

Since then, I’ve written about a book a year. Sixteen have been published, and two more are in process.

Another question I get a lot is, “What advice do you give new writers?” My answer is always the same: Get in a writer’s group. Your family and friends love you, but they usually cannot be objective about your work. Writer’s groups are where you find your people. They understand what you’re going through. They are a great place for connection and encouragement, a place to hone your skills.

Since I started writing seventeen years ago, I’ve joined some wonderful local writers’ groups. But I also write a lot of books for kids and teens, so I became a member of the Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators, a national organization with tremendous support and opportunities.

I also love to give back to writers through teaching seminars and classes. I’m very excited to have found the Crone Authors Together group. After attending one meeting, it feels like family.

It’s never too late to start writing. It’s never too late to learn new tools. And it’s never too late to give back to the next generation.