Becoming a Cool Grandma

On a sunny morning last Thanksgiving, my grandchildren and their cousins were getting restless. And who could blame them? They’d discovered the kid-sized buckets and shovels hidden in a closet, the beach beckoned, and their parents were busy chatting and preparing food. Looking for an adult to accompany them, our eldest grandson finally implored, “Can Mimi take us?” He knows I’m always up for an adventure.

So after I secured buy-in from their fathers that they would rinse the sand off little feet and other body parts upon our return, this cool grandma was off, strolling to the beach with four boys, ages five to eleven.

We had a ball. The kids dug in the sand, their cousins’ new puppy exercised his short, wide-set legs, and Mimi’s Fitbit recorded almost 3,000 steps. Plus, the boys left behind their devices and Hot Cheetos while they constructed multiple sand structures and built up an appetite for the big feast. It was a win on multiple levels.

Are you a cool grandmother? I consider such women, so engaged in their grandchildren’s lives, in the same category as fairy godmothers. A cool grandmother shows her grandkids how to bake and how to use a metal detector. She’s not just sitting on the sidelines and watching. She’s involved, teaching, interacting, laughing.

So if you are a cool grannie, congratulations! Your grandkids are truly fortunate.

Benefits of Cool Grandmas

One of the best lessons you can bestow upon your little ones is to bust their conception of what it means to be an old lady. I’ll never forget talking with our youngest grandson when he was five. I asked him what it looks like when a grandmother walks. He stood up, leaned over, grabbed his back, and pretended to shuffle across the room with a cane. I was appalled! That was the first time I realized my grandkids didn’t think of me as an old lady, even though I’m in my seventies and proud of it.

The experience was eye-opening. Yet research shows that children as young as age three pick up on societal messages of ageism and begin to use negative language about older adults. We can fight this! For example, I taught an exercise class for older adults (the oldest being 97) for several years, and often took the grandkids with me. I explained that the women were older than me, yet they were all able to get stronger with the class. The kids would exercise with the women to experience the challenge.

And when we’re out in public, if they see older adults and make negative comments (“look how slow they are”), we remind them not to think of that as a “bad” thing, but talk about how careful the olders are being with their bodies.

Cool grandmothers break the stereotype and rescue their grandkids when parents are tired to provide them with old-fashioned fun. Some of the activities you might enjoy sharing:

• Re-tell stories from your own childhood
• Engage children’s imaginations
• Play old-fashioned card games like Uno, Go Fish, Crazy 8s
• Teach new skills

How to Be an Engaged Grandma

In order to be a cool grandmother, you have to keep up with those kiddos. Physical stamina is critical. This doesn’t mean you need to be a body builder or a marathon runner, but you must be to be strong enough to toss a frisbee, pitch a whiffle ball, climb the stairs, and get on and off the floor to play Jenga. And of course, go on those adventurous walks.

You’re not the little old lady watching the children have fun. You’re having fun, too! And you can’t do any of this if you don’t have healthy muscles. So let me put on my dietitian and fitness hats to throw out some suggestions.

Strong muscles start with our diet. Over time, muscle mass and strength decrease through a process is called sarcopenia. This starts in our thirties and peaks between ages sixty-five and eighty. Sarcopenia can lead to a loss of stamina, difficulty walking quickly, poor balance, and falls. In fact, according to the World Health Organization, 28-35% of people aged 65 and over suffer a fall each year, and almost 40% of these falls lead to an injury requiring medical treatment.

The best way to guard against muscle loss begins with a protein-centered diet. This involves consuming about 25 – 30 grams of protein at each meal, especially breakfast. You can reach this goal with lean meats, dairy products, or plant-based sources. (Note: You’ll need to consume more calories with a strictly plant-based diet to get the same quantity of protein.) And unlike the way most Americans eat, do not “save” your biggest protein serving for dinner. It’s best to divide this critical nutrient evenly throughout your day.

To help you visualize this diet pattern, here are some examples of a 25 – 30 gram serving of protein:

• Two scrambled eggs and a protein drink
• Tuna sandwich (1/2 or 1 full can of water-packed tuna, depending on the brand)
• 4 oz of chicken, beef, or pork
• Serving of Greek yogurt (check the label) plus 1 oz almonds
• 1 cup beans with 1 oz cheese and two corn tortillas

In addition to consuming protein, in order to build muscle, it’s critical to engage in strength training. That’s right, get friendly with a set of dumbbells. Through regular use, you will have the strength to walk a set of stairs and lift yourself off the sofa without much difficulty.

Check with your physician before you start lifting weights, then take a class at a gym or senior center, or hire a personal trainer with a senior fitness specialty certification. Begin with 1- or 2-pound weights and work your way up. The key to building strength is to continually challenge your muscles with more weight or new exercises. Make sure you know the correct form for each exercise, because you don’t want to get hurt. Injuries will sideline you, and that just won’t do for the cool grandma.

And don’t forget cardiovascular exercise, typically walking. The Physical Activity Guidelines for Americans recommends 150 minutes per week of moderate-intensity exercise for heart health, blood lipid and glucose control, mental health, and much more. Break that amount down into bite-sized chunks. For example, you can complete two 15-minute walks or three 10-minute walks five days per week. In addition to walking, the following activities are considered cardiovascular exercise: gardening, biking (including e-bikes), dancing, housework, and swimming.

Moving every hour is also a benefit. If you walk, climb stairs, or do squats for as little as two minutes after prolonged sitting, your body will begin to push unhealthy lipids and glucose out of your blood and into working muscles.

The Bottom Line

So cool grandmothers, stand up and be recognized. (And I mean that literally; get off your derrière!)

Don’t let people assume you can’t play with the kids just because of your age. Get out there and live it up.