The Magical Power of Life Review

December is a busy yet contemplative time. We are down to the essentials. Outside our windows the branches are bare, while inside the house, the packages are shipped and the cupboards empty as we ready for holiday travel. The New Year is upon us with chances for new resolutions, new activism, new growth. Soon will come the perfect time to reflect on our lives.

Our sixties and beyond are an ideal life stage to revisit our experience and find meaning in the mosaic of our histories. Conducting a structured life review can increase our sense of purpose and our satisfaction with life. We can revisit our accomplishments, find closure with issues that feel unresolved, and arrive at new contentment. By revisiting our relationships we can deepen our understanding of their meaning. Reflecting on our life story and the values we developed over the years can provide deep fulfillment.

A formal Life Review can happen in conversation or through writing. Therapists trained in life review may ask questions like, “When were you first attracted to another person?” or “What wisdom would you like to share with the next generation?” When memories are difficult, a facilitator can suggest a reframe to help deepen the meaning of the experience.

Writing As a Tool

Another method is to use writing as a tool to review our lives, either in a group or individually. I was first introduced to the Life Review concept when a friend invited me to co-lead a workshop series on telling and sharing our life stories. The workshop was based on Telling the Stories of Life through Guided Autobiography Groups by Birren and Cochrane. The book asks participants to begin by finding their turning points: the moments when a decision or an external event altered our trajectory and changed our perspective.

The process continues with writing on themes rather than chronologically. The book posits a series of “sensitive questions:” writing prompts on key topics such as career, health, sexuality and money. Writing and sharing as a group leads us deep into mutual understanding and self-awareness. Groups begun through this program often continue creating and sharing after the scheduled writing is complete; some groups even publish story collections.

Another Life Review book that is designed for individual use, Writing Your Legacy by Campbell and Svensson, is great for solo writers and for additional group prompts. Writing individually on themes such as passions and cultural heritage can be powerful. Using photographs as prompts is another way to access and make meaning of our history. So is listening to music we enjoyed at different eras in our lives. Even if we write solo, we can choose to share our writing later in a group or with a writing partner.

Other resources can be useful for those of us with trauma in our histories. One of my favorites is Jen Cross’ book, Writing Ourselves Whole: Using the Power of Your Own Creativity to Recover and Heal from Sexual Trauma.  And if we encounter difficult emotions during the Life Review process, consulting a counselor can be beneficial.

Once we develop the perspectives offered by a Life Review, we may decide to take the further step of writing legacy letters to family members and perhaps to friends as well. A legacy letter is a personal statement about what we have learned in life and why we value our relationships with loved ones.

Anyone can write a legacy letter, whether or not you consider yourself to be a writer. It’s a way to preserve memories and express gratitude to those we love. You may choose to write one letter or write individual letters to each child and to others who are important to you. Let folks know your hopes for them, and how you hope they will remember you. You can decide when to share these letters, or leave them with your important papers for distribution at the end of life.

Time To Reflect

Our ability to find meaning, to develop equanimity about who we are and what we have accomplished, is enhanced when we take the time to reflect. We can revisit this process as we reach different stages in life, and each time we do, we give ourselves the gifts of peace and understanding.